Revelion

Ca în fiecare an, din ultimii 5-6 să zicem, am privit cu uimire evenimentul. Ce-o mai însemna și sărbătoarea asta?

M-am tot gândit totuși să o tratez cum se cuvine. Și pentru că nu mă mai simțeam în stare să servesc genul de masă copioasă românesc, am făcut eu meniul, l-am și gătit în mare parte. Netradițional, sănătos și gustos.

Aperitive:

Piftie (unicul fel tradițional de Revelion) dar, de curcan

Ardei gras umplut cu pastă de brânză cu mărar

Tzatziki

Somon tartar (mmmmm …)

Salată caprese

Felul   I: somon la cuptor cu cartofi și roșii (mmmm …)

Felul II: file de curcan la grătar cu salată

Desert: Tort “Mușuroi de cârtiță”

Oh, pană și astea mi s-au părut foarte bune dar, prea multe. Clar, de sărbători mâncăm mai mult decât trebuie.

LA MULȚI ANI !!!

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Fear

I realize now why I’m afraid to go there. It’s not the fear of not succeed. But the fact is that after I’ll go, there is the possibility that I’ll have to come back. This is the fear. As long as I’m still preparing myself for this I’m still thinking that I’ll go. But after it may remain only the thought that I have to come back.

A thought of the moment?

I do feel a lot lately. Few years ago there was a moment when I looked around me and I said: “Yes. I’m home”. I was always in search of some place to stay, to never leave. And for a moment, a couple of years moment, I thought I found it. But things are always changing so now this is not home anymore. I was happy here. I could be myself for a long time and I’m grateful for this. Sometime still I was unhappy here but until a while I could fight for my beliefs. Mostly because when I watched the balance between good and wrong, the good was clearly heavier. But in time, things changed. And now my balance seems to can not lean for sure to the good part. I feel again my old wish to just go, to change the place. My mother used to tell me often that it’s like I was born on the streets, not in such a great, normal family. That’s because I always want to go somewhere. Although now there are moments when I want just to stay in my room, reading a good book, in my heart yes, I want to go again. I want to see different places and to meet new people. I don’t think I can really have a place to call definitively home but, only the road as a home.

Ca de fiecare data

Şi da. Ca de fiecare dată când adevărul este spus, începe distracţia.

Am îmbătrânit, iar asta pare o bătălie de dus la nesfârşit.

Poate, în cele din urma, o sa renunt.

Asa cum poate, o viaţă, o să mă întreb “De ce?”.

3

3 ani.

Nu e o decizie usor de luat. Ma intreb insa, oare de ce pe de o parte mi se cere o astfel de garantie iar pe de alta in fiecare zi parca mi se cere sa plec?

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Life

So what is life?

That moment when you lie on the sand of Ontario Lake letting the sun to caresses you and listening to the waves?

That moment when you hide to your room asking yourself how will you manage such a strange envy?

That moment when you see your beautiful niece and she’s happy to see you and kisses you and hugs you? 

That moment when you ask yourself: now what? after you fight and fight, succeeding only enough to have the power to continue?

That moment when you drive on the wide highways of Canada thinking that Yes, you can do it. You can do anything if you are ready to.

That moment when you are so sad that you can not see any kind of light around.

That moment when you are so happy that you just stay, with eyes closed, smiling – you with yourself, feeling … So, this is the time to say “Thank You”.

That moment when you know that you have to go back. And you feel that you can not face again the injustice that is your reward for hard working. So, this is the moment to say “I did my best and there is nothing I can do. Thy will be done.”

Yes. I think that is.

Oficial

Oficial, cam de acum juma de oră mă pot simţi în vacanţă. Fără bani dar, cu timp liber. Şi nu e asta oare, în ziua de azi, adevărata bogăţie?

A fost un an greu. Lucruri noi, lupte dure, nedreptate câteodată. Operaţii. Uneori, gânduri foarte negre.  Dar şi zâmbete. Încredere, pe care sper că am răsplătit-o cum trebuie. Încurajare. Copii atât de frumoşi în jurul meu.

Am un sentiment ciudat de încheiere. A ceva. A unei etape?

Şi sunt gata. Pentru orice va fi să fie în faţa mea de acum înainte.

Bine ai venit, VARĂ!